HISTORY & INSPIRATION
The Women’s Giving Circle
In 2008 a group of women got together as the Women’s Giving Circle to support programs and initiatives that would empower our community to break the cycle of violence. Several of these women had written the original grant proposals in 1981 to obtain funding for the first women’s transition house on the Sunshine Coast.
The members of the Women’s Giving Circle brainstormed ways of raising money, and examined various initiatives that this money could support. In 2009 the 1st Annual PLAYGOLFGIVE Together Against Violence tournament was organized, raising money to help support the Together Against Violence programs run by the Sunshine Coast Community Services Society.
From the beginning, it was apparent that the PLAYGOLFGIVE golf tournament struck a chord with many people and businesses, who generously responded to requests for sponsorships, prizes and golfers. The first annual Together Against Violence PLAYGOLFGIVE tournament in 2009 raised more than $10,000, and last year’s tournament raised over $12,000. This year, our goal is to raise $20,000.
All of the money raised in this golf tournament will go to support Together Against Violence programs, including Yew Transition House, Thyme Second Stage Transition House, Community Based Victim Services, the Children Who Witness Abuse program, and the Women’s Outreach and Women’s Counselling programs.
Why Is It Important to Stand “Together Against Violence”?
In an average year more than 20,000 women in B.C. will experience violence (Statistics Canada). Almost half of these women have children who will be exposed to the violence as well. In 2010 Yew Transition House provided support, food and shelter to 77 women and 40 children, and in the same period received 901 calls from women seeking support. Thyme Second Stage provided longer term affordable housing and on-going support for 5 women and 10 children. Community Based Victim Services supported 113 files, while the Children Who Witness Abuse program supported children from 12 families. Women’s Outreach provided support to 79 women with 82 children, and Women’s Counselling received 114 referrals from women seeking free counselling related to experiences of abuse.
The Women Who Use the Services
Janice’s Story
Janice (not her real name) had two children aged two and eight. She loved her husband, but was hurt by his behaviour: he had constantly demeaned her, controlled who she could see, and refused to allow her to work or volunteer in the community. She was financially dependent on her husband, and she had no extended family or friends who could help.
One night when Janice asked her husband for money for food he became angry and hit her. She realized that continuing to be abused would be dangerous for her and harmful for the children. When it was safe to do so, she called the Yew Transition House 24 hour access line and a staff member arranged to bring Janice and the children to the house.
At Yew, Janice and her children were given a room of their own, meals, and clothing, and support staff 24 hours a day. Staff gave her hope, reminding her that the abuse was not her fault, and helping her think of how she and her children would now be safe. They helped her decide whether to return to her husband with a safety plan in place, or whether to try to make it on her own with the kids. Staff showed her how to apply for income assistance and accompanied her to appointments as advocates while her children were cared for by the Child Support staff.
Staff assisted Janice to apply to the Thyme Second Stage program, where she was able to move with her children into a 3 bedroom unit of affordable housing for up to 18 months. With the help of a Family Support Worker at Thyme, and a weekly support group, parenting on her own began to feel like something Janice could achieve. Janice’s children participated in activities with other children, and the Child Support Worker helped them understand their experiences of exposure to abuse. They benefitted from community donations of clothing, furniture, and household goods.
Janice was referred to the Women’s Outreach program to help navigate family court and custody issues. Staff helped her through the tough times without judging, reminding her of the successes she had attained: her children felt safe and happy and were sleeping through the night now; she was feeling less anxious, and she had made friends at Thyme. Her oldest child really liked seeing the Children Who Witness Abuse Counsellor at Community Services, and Janice saw improvements in her children’s behaviour. Janice began to believe in her own abilities and even considered returning to school.
Sonya’s Story
Sonya (not her real name) is a 75 year old woman who has raised 5 children and has numerous grandchildren. She heard about the Women’s Counselling Service from a friend whose daughter had been helped by the free confidential service.
Sonya decided to call the counsellor because she had been carrying a secret which was increasingly difficult to manage and causing her to be depressed. During counselling sessions Sonya disclosed her history of subjugation to abuse all her life, as a child by her father and as a woman by her husband. Leaving her marriage was never an option with 5 children and no means of support. The counsellor helped Sonya acknowledge how she had managed to protect her children, and how she had maintained her dignity despite the abuse. Though often battered and bruised, and feeling guilty for the abuse her children were exposed to.
Sonya had never lost sight of her own values and raised her children to be caring and self-reliant. Sonya expressed great relief at finally being able to tell her story. She said it felt like a huge weight had been lifted and she was able to feel a sense of peace for the first time. She felt able to fully enjoy the rest of her life, with new feelings of pride in what she had accomplished.
